Dear Annie: You cannot hurry grief


Don't hurry grief. (Getty Images)

Dear Annie: After my father’s suicide, I learned about grief from the inside out and quickly discovered that I had known nothing at all when viewing it only from the outside as an observer.

The most helpful resource I found was the book “Understanding Mourning” by Glen Davidson. He shows how grief is typically a two-year process, not a two-week one. Yes, that is highly inconvenient for most people, especially in our fast-paced “give it to me now” culture, but it is what it is.

You cannot hurry it any more than you can hurry a sunrise. -- Knows Grief Well

Dear Knows Grief: I am so very sorry for your loss and want to thank you for the book recommendation. I hope it helps others heal their grief, and, for those who want to comfort the grieving, I hope it helps with patience and perspective.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to


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